Understanding Engineers - Take One

Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one
said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied,
"Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a
beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all
her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded
approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit
you anyway.

Understanding Engineers - Take Two

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is
half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers - Take Four

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.


Understanding Engineers - Take Five

The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate
with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an
accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an arts
degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"


Understanding Engineers - Take Six

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible
designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just
look at all the joints. "Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer.
The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections. " The
last one said, "No,
actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic
waste pipeline through a recreational area?"


Understanding Engineers - Take Seven

Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke,
it doesn't have enough features yet.


Understanding Engineers - Take Eight

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and
said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over,
picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and
said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will
stay with you for one
week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and
returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and
turn me back into a Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do
ANYTHING you want." Again, the engineer took the
frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog
asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and
that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't
you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an
engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now
that's cool."