"Where there is no vision, the people perish," reads an ancient proverb. Far from being meaningless flights of fancy, our dreams nourish our lives and marriages. But keeping dreams alive requires concrete steps.
1. Dream out loud together—and make sure both of you have a voice. When children arrive, don't silence your own voices as you're helping your kids find theirs.
2. Listen to each other. Hearing one another's dreams will give you insights into each other and help you work as a team to turn dreams into reality.
3. Don't let conflicting dreams discourage you. Keep talking, seeking ways to modify your aspirations. When you get stuck, it often helps to find a third party, one who won't take sides, to be a sounding board and help you find a way through the impasse.
4. Get practical. Look for ways to turn dreams into action. And as you do, avoid all-or-nothing thinking. Which parts of your dreams are possible in the near future? What steps can you take now that will lead you toward achieving your goals?
5. Celebrate your milestones. Taking stock of how far you've already come will build confidence for the future.
6. Be willing to revise and improvise when things don't work out as you'd hoped. Disappointments and losses are inevitable, but they shouldn't put an end to your dreaming.
7. Make the vitality of your marriage the cornerstone of all your dreams. When your most shining dream is to deepen the joy in your marriage, you'll find life rich even if all your other dreams fail to materialize.